HURT

Hey Boys! It must be a day of miracles because two of them are happening today. The first is I'm writing another blog less than a week after the last. That is nothing short of amazing. The other is that I have survived one of my hardest weeks of heck on earth. I've been living the "grown-up" version of mean girls* for about 3 months now, maybe a little longer. (I put grown-up in quotes because I'm using that term loosely.) I could tell you hundreds of stories of things that have been happening to me at my current job but I'm going to limit it to one. This one actually occurred last week and I'm changing the names to protect the not-so-innocents. I have been sharing a castle with Princess Peabrain and Lady Looselips. Princess Peabrain and Lady Looselips love to spread gossip, even things that are ridiculous. It's not just gossip, they are vicious. The things that I have heard come out of their mouths could rival the meanest of bullies from any junior high gym class. They don't just stop at spreading gossip, Princess Peabrain loves to create her own version not at all based on reality and even admits it to people but many of the people have been charmed by her flirty smile and wooing words. Since I pointed out Princess Peabrain's lies to her, she has decided to crown me the new witch in our little bit of land. After spreading lies and gossip and partial conversations to the people in our land, she had the audacity to tell Lady Looselips in front of me that people (me) need to make her last week at work easy for her because she's had a hard time lately. Right, it's very hard work belittling others. (As background she was given notice to find a new land to "rule" over because she couldn't make it into the castle half the time for i don't know why because she never told the truth about that but I certainly have some pretty good theories which I'll share with you when you are all older and will understand better if you want to know.) Anyway, I used to get along with Princess Peabrain and Lady Looselips but Princess Peabrain does not like to hear the truth and refuses to see it because she has too many hurtful truths in her life to deal. She prefers to create a false sense of being better than anyone who would challenge that in fact she is not better than anyone else, not even the "know-it-all witch" (me). Lady Looselips just likes some good drama and whoever will share the drama with her is her new best friend. It frees her from having to deal with any real issues she has. Since I wouldn't talk about other people and Princess Peabrain did, you can imagine who she picked to side with. So after dealing with months of one day being ignored, one day being purposefully left out of conversations, one day being talked about every time I leave the castle, to being lied about, to being verbally picked on - I am finding myself at the end of my reserves. I tried all kinds of approaches to deal with this. I ignored it and still tried to work. I tried to not talk at all except for work stuff. In the past I would fight back but not this time. I tried to go in there praying but the darkness in the castle would always overwhelm this soul of mine. Slowly I have felt this darkness growing inside me as it gets harder and harder to keep forgiving them their trespasses against me. Reading back on what I've written, I can see that this seems really silly. It's hard to imagine that things could be like that for an adult and really be that bad. Some would tell me that Jesus was killed and taunted by others for nothing and he loved them and forgave them. But this doesn't make me feel better. What does make me feel better is that even though some would say this is petty, God the King of all the lands is saddened by it all too. He hurts for me when I hurt whether it's my own fault or others. He is also hurting for Princess Peabrain and Lady Looselips, for the hurts that cause them to hurt others. Just as His grace can cover them for the hurts they cause, it covers me for the forgiveness I'm lacking right now. His loving, gentle hands will soften my heart with time and prayer and this will all be a funny movie that will make me rich one day. (Just kidding about the movie part, maybe.)
*This is a movie that came out I believe around 2002 or so. It's a Lyndsay Lohan movie that Tina Fey wrote. It's actually a good movie so you guys should check it out.