As I'm sitting here putting off cleaning the house, I've been trying to come up with ways to cut back. We just finished this big "Consumed" series at church and I feel incredibly touched by this series. So many lessons have been taught to me in the past six weeks, probably too many to include in this blog but I'm doing it anyway so this one will be long. Sorry.
It started the first Sunday when they took our polaroid pictures. We wrote down our names and they were shipped to Mamelodi for the spiritually rich people to pray for us here in America. We may be financially richer and we may have pictures of them on our fridges because we send money each month to support them. They are spiritually richer and now they have pictures of us on their fridges as they pray for us to be consumed by God and not by the treasures we have stored for ourselves on earth. Wendy and I were so profoundly humbled. Every time I see pictures of them holding our pictures with tears streaming down their faces as they pray for us I am touched beyond words. I cannot express it. I hope that sometime in your lives you all get to feel that kind of humility. It's the kind that knocks you prostrate bare before God.
Before the series started I was already trying to give what I could of my possessions. I don't hold on to Abel's clothes and toys. I try to pass it on to other moms and babies who need it. (I have a kept a couple of favorite clothing items for you, Abel.) Anyway, someone at work asked me why I would pass on Abel's carseat/stroller and clothes and toys, and all the other baby things. She's been holding her kid's things for years now in case she has another one. I could hang on to it all in the hopes that God brings me and Abel a special man and more babies but if someone has a need then that surpasses hanging on to something HOPING i will get to use it again. It's such a waste. Don't hoard your stuff. There's always more stuff that seems to take the place of the stuff you give away.
Another lesson I learned is you can always find money somewhere in your budget to give. Even if you are a single parent on a very limited budget, there is ALWAYS something there to give and someone who needs it more than you. I have a car that runs even though it's part of the junky car club, the bills will be paid this month, and we have food and clothes. Everything else is extra and we have lots of extra to share.
Finally, my hardest lesson was my ipod lesson. In the midst of the series my ipod broke. Let me tell you, a day at work without a working ipod sounded like torture to me. I got mine wet and it wouldn't play, it gave me the dead ipod picture and I was devestated. I was depressed all day at work. I sat in my seat and pouted because I didn't have my ipod to listen to my podcosts. I can't afford a new one. The one I have was purchased before Abel even existed. As I crawled into bed that night I felt so incredibly stupid. I wasted a day pouting and being down over an object that was going to break at some point anyway. But I was depressed over a stupid little piece of equipment breaking because it meant that now I had to actually talk to my peeps on my bus and the folks in the office. I couldn't pretend to be listening to my ipod to avoid awkward conversations with strangers or the increasingly uncomfortable situation in my office at work. Once I accepted that I needed to be more open to conversating with others, miraculously my ipod has slowly started working again. Hmm, curious. I try to limit my ipod time at work and I try to not to use it when I'm on the bus. I still have my days when I don't want to play with others but our time here on earth is limited and meant to be used connecting with others. Get rid of the stuff that gets in your way of that.
I can't wait to spend Easter with you all tomorrow even if you will be tan while me and Abel are ghost-like. Listen to this song - http://www.crossroads.net/downloads/playMedia.php?idMedia=558
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